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Vashiro
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read my profile
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Name: Sheila
Birthday: 4/5/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: fashion, math, philosophy, art, hot guys ( haha)
Swatch, Puma, Playlife, Sisley, IKEA, Armani, Diesel
Expertise: DREAMER
Occupation: Engineer
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/29/2004
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| The anticipation of success or mediocrity in the coming week is filling me with anxiety and doubt. All I can do is, wait and pray.
Let this Saturday be a good one. Let all the worries, weariness and all the other negative feelings plunging on me be lifted to Him. I am praying for peaceful mind, restful body and grateful thanksgiving. May whatever result I obtain on Saturday through devoted hard work be reflecting his glory.
Good night.
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| I have this urge, uncontrollably, to fully extend all the potentials in me. Current job is too limited; Headquarters is not enough; Engineering is merely what I want to do or am good at doing. Knowing the possibility that one day I will be somewhere that those that I've been admired have been is such a sweet feeling. If I let go of this great feeling on my finger tip, no other substitute will bring me anywhere close to it, let alone what I have accomplished so far or what I have been awarded. All was through repetitive long processes I was involved in voluntarily or forcefully.
How long will it take? How far will I have to go to know that it is enough? How do I know it is fulfilled? I do not have answers for those. This ambitious traveller can no longer be satisfied with the small Jewels collected along the way but that beautiful diamond that could be named after me. I am desperate but careful. I want to embrace my future with open arms. I will have a smile when I grow older knowing that I have tried my best.
Has anyone guessed about the great plan? Yes. I am studying for GMAT now. After a year of procrastination and survival on real life in Corporate America, I am determined this time to start working towards a greater goal. Whatever challenges to come, bring them on! I might fall, and many times more, but I will never give up but stand up and continue towards what I set my eyes on.
Can I hear a " Good luck, Sheila"? .....
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| Robin says:
我最近发现自己很怀旧
Robin says:
而且越来越怀旧。 然后有一天想起了你，就一直想打个电话给你。因为如果不是以前认识的人，我会觉得现在就是以前，从来都没有过去。
Robin says:
就好像不打电话或是msn, 也不会去打中文。每天都用英文，不一样的朋友，不一样的文化，就连我自己也不一样了，好像在中国成长是另外一个人。可是总是有时候，很难绕过自己。 一转身，就再也会不去了。
Robin says:
很适应，太适应了，所以和老同学偶尔的联系让我自己才不会忘记过去
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| It has been a while since I sat down and wrote something calmly. By calmly, I don't mean my thoughts are still and nothing engages at this very moment. I wrote a few times last few months: They were either full of rage and complaints or saturated with sour bitterness and unhappy thoughts. Not saying that I am completely utterly satisfied with my current life condition. On the contrary, I am still in the swirling downhill as always.
So i've been doing the following: tell John how it's annoying he is still college and I am working already; tell everyone how much he loves me and spoils me; tell my dad I am really unsure about what future holds; tell this that and that this. I get extremely confused as to what I want, who I want, where and when. Story line changed a few time; in the end, I lost in the deepest self-pity and pity on the others. The past has never failed to hunt me down and leave a few more tissue-deep scratches.
Destructive as always, I often seek for the worst possible while preparing for it. A planning strategy I conveniently inherited from my beloved father. Ironically, preparing for it sometimes initiate the progress towards the worst. I live in this half reality, not knowing who I really am, which one of me is making decisions today and what I want the future to unfold.
I thought I picked the end but why this sharp pain is so vividly spreading from my heart. No regrets. When the morning comes, there is no weakness. Only the strong girl, everyone else sees standing there with a firm gaze. My thoughts were tossed around a millions times when outlines of the trees outside finally announced arrival of the first ray of daylight.
Which one of me is the one who is making decision today? Was it the same as yesterday? | | |
| I hate my fuckin job.............Just wait, im fucking quitting it.
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